Monday, December 25, 2006

Twas the Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas
and this family of four
had baked a batch of chocolate chip cookies
and were eyeing one more.

The Christmas Story marathon
played on the tv all night
and served as the backdrop for the
brother and sister to fight.

The brother finally collapsed
in a heap on the floor
when they heard the jingling
of bells outside of their door.

The Dad cracked the door
as the Mom felt fluish
and there sat Santa looking puzzled
"you know with Christmas story playing,
you don't sound Jewish".

The Dad pointed up to
the mezuzah on the door
and to the dreidl still spinning
from Chanukah on the floor.

They gave him a plate of soufganiyot
or jelly donuts to you
The mom wrapped a blanket tighter
did we mention she had the flu?

Then we heard Santa exclaim as
he drove out of sight
Never mind those cookies and milk
It's these donuts I like!

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

27 comments:

Anita @ Say No to Crack said...

My mother in law always tells a hilarious old tale called Twas the Night before Christmas in Texas (she honestly believes she's a down home southerner, even though she's from upstate New York) ... but I have to say I like this more ... at least for tonight ;).

I wouldn't mind teaching my 2 year old son that Santa likes Israeli Jelly Doughnuts better than cookies. He'd probably get a lot of funny looks from kids at school in a couple years, and I'd probably get a lot of funny calls from parents asking how to make Soufganiyot so that their kids would stop bugging them.

Enjoy your time off tomorrow, hope you and your family enjoy it.

neva said...

hey, i'm all for soufganiyots... as long as they're fat free.

how on Earth can you be so funny and SO dang clever after being "under the weather and/or cozy blankies" all weekend? 'tis a mystery, i tell ya -- and a darn good one, at that! (maybe i should pull out the ol' Nancy Drew notebook and take a few notes...)

Happy Happy Holidays, my dear and beloved NBFF! thank you for making this year (well, at least half of this year, since i didn't really know you before the summer, but who's counting?) ... uh... for making MOST of this year so damn fantastic! a girl goes out in search of a few like-minded individuals, and winds up with a friend as close as any she's ever known. how cool is that? i'll tell ya how cool -- VERY.

i wish for Peace and Love and abundant Joy for you and your family -- and may all these blessings stay with you throughout the New Year. thank you for being not *just* a friend, but for being my very wonderful NBFF. you are more special to me than i have words to convey.

now... about that soufganiyot. do they need to cool off, or can i eat them warm? xoxox

G said...

Anita, sounds like a tale I'd like to hear. Thank you for playing along. Think of the wave of Soufganiyot being enjoyed all across the cultures. Who says blogging is a waste of time? :) Thanks for dropping by and your good wishes.

Neva: Sit tight, we're doing the baked version tomorrow.

Aw shucks, you know inspired by The Christmas Story marathon I guess. That, and the cold meds. Actually I'm not really taking any, so I'm just high on my own headiness.

You know it seems like longer than months since we first joined league at Doug's place. And I look forward to many more years as NBFF's! You are about as sweet and kind a friend as a person could order. Did I mention funny? I wish the same for you and Joel and the family throughout the New Year as well. You're special folks.

Just blow on them, hold on now, let's add some jelly... xox :)

weirsdo said...

Get well soon. You will have to cope with the Barbies and Mr. Banana.
I'm glad Santa is so multi-cultural. Sounds delicious.
A very happy holidays to you and yours.

Joel said...

A very worthy and welcome update to this holiday tale. We've had the marathon (A Christmas Story) on all morning...it is the tradition. Of course Christmas did not stop us from making a Starbucks run...priorities! Get well Lampy G.

Diesel said...

G - You're funny. Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays or whichever you prefer. Best wishes to all.

goldennib said...

G: This was a great Christmas poem. I am sorry you are feeling flu-ee and hope you feel better soon. I wish you and your family a great, happy, healthy New Year.

I'll be trying out my pen in the coming weeks and posting info afterwards. We'll see how much fun it is.

G said...

Weirsdo: Thanks. They've been behaving so far. Tali has sort of taken them under her wing for now. Well in Quenns, Santa really doesn't have a choice. Thanks Mrs. Weirsdo, all the best to you and the family.

Joel: See what happens when you get hepped up on chocolate chips? You and my NBFF have some good traditions - CSM and Starbucks. Nice. Thanks, I'm on the mend I think.

Diesel: Funny like a clown? I amuse you? (Goodfellas reference). Well Merry and a Happy to you and thank you. Best wishes to all your fam.

Goldennib: Thanks, glad you enjoyed. I'm on the upswing now after much chicken soup and a little rest thrown in. I wish the very same for you and your family. Ooh, I'll be by for the reviews.

pia said...

That was the best Christmas poem I have read--it was actually wonderful

I didn't know about the donuts until a couple of years ago. Since Ashkenzi Jewish NY was strictly tatkes--which I ate way too many of this past week--and they weren't fat free--paying for that now

The weather's great for colds. Sorry you're under the weather
But if it brings out such a great talent--you have to send some of your stuff out

Was going to say something about how we "met" in my post but decided to wait until the New Years One--so loved you being the first comment :)

Dan said...

G, did you write this? This is awesome! :)

Merry Christmas to you and your family! Love, Dan

G said...

Pia, I'm blushing under this shade! See my problem is we eat both - latkes and soufganiyot! And neither lowfat, excpet my baked ones which did not pan out shall we say.

Thanks for your kind words all around, it's been a pleasure being a click away from your blog this past year and I was quite excited to be the first comment to your post, it felt so fitting as you were my first blog obsession. ;)

Dan, Weeell, not the title, but the rest. Thanks. Merry Christmas to you and yours and best in the new year. xox ~ G

Logophile said...

Be happy and merry and stop being sick, NO ONE enjoys that.

Gimme a donut, I just may convert :p

Al said...

You've still got it, G! (The Christmas Spirit, that is. :-)

Now get better! You wanna be in shape to hit the ground running in 2007 -- but without your nose running.

elvira black said...

Great poem, G! I gave Santa some kosher dills from Essex off Grand and some bialys from Kossars. Low-fat too--Santa could stand to lose a few!

pinky said...

Wonderful holiday poem! I hope that you and your family have been enjoying the season. Hugs and love to you all!!!

Pavel said...

Okay, that was very funy! I have to try one of those one day...

G said...

Logo: You're right! I'll give you two donuts, but what would the Pastafarians do without you!

Al: It's in the air. That and these viruses going around. But thank you for your good wishes. :)

Elvira: Thanks. Ah that'll help lighten his load, but now I'm craving pickles and bialys. Ummm.

Pinky: Thanks - the same for you and yours. xox

Pavel, They're like the old fashioned jelly doughnuts from the bakeries but better!

DaBich said...

Loved the poem, thanks :)
SO glad you're feeling better.


Happy Holidays to you, whichever ones you celebrate! HUGZ!

G said...

Thanks DB on all counts! Best to you and the family in the coming year. xox ~ G

Monika said...

That was hilarious and so you.
Hope you had a wonderufl blend of everything and anything you hold dear.

Hope the flu is gone by New Year, there are still some cookies left and santa closed teh door behind him on his way out :)

Wonderful Holidays to all of you!

ann said...

sorry to come back and find you've been poorly... not nice... hope you're better now.

... as for sofganiyot... after the longest airport trek ever all the way across Ben Gurion airport, as I'm schlepping a gut at the baggage reclaim, my mother's stuffing her face with a donut, courtesy of Lubavitch... huh!!!!!

take care

lotsa luv ann xxxxxx

Doug said...

G, that was terrific!

G said...

Minka, Glad you liked. We've had a wonderful time of celebration and now it's good to kick back and just ring in the new year quitely (hopefully). On your wishes for me - 2 out of 3 ain't bad. Happy holidays and best to you Minkala.

Ann, I'm on the mend now it seems the worst is over. That sounds dramatic because it wasn't THAT terrible, just schva (sp?). Mostly (and I'll apologize ahead of time), I'm cracking up at the characterization of your Mother/Lubavitch sofganiyot feast - too funny!!! Glad to see you home! xox

Doug, thanks!

G said...

Oh and Doug, as a dress-up Santa, you qualify to receive free soufganiyot!

Miz BoheMia said...

Ha, ha, haaaa! Brilliant amiga mia! BRILLIANT!!!!

This bohemian is applauding you like a crazy fool, sitting in the music room on the PC alone, almost 5:30 am and clapping and laughing like the shaking fool that she is! WOOH!

Happy holidays sweet Gina! I hope Channukah was faboo and may the New Year be nothing short of magical! Neshikot to one much loved by this bohemian!

G said...

MizB! You're up already and I best be getting my butt to bed! Ooh glad you liked and now I can just see you in that lovely music room! FO SHO!

Thank you my dear sweet bohemian amiga, we've enjoyed them a lot this year. I wish the same for you and your beautiful family in the new year. Neshikot and besos to you. xox ~ G

gel said...

(I visited here via Ann's blog via Poetry Thursday.) I'm sorry you were sick or hopefully, that was poetic license to rhyme with Jewish.What a fun, light-hearted poem!

We often watch "It's a Wonderful Life" and we're Jewish. It's almost a tradition.