GIMME A BREAK

Well, okay.

And just like that - I will be on vacation until sometime after Labor Day (the American holiday that signifies the end of summer). Tomorrow is my last day of work!

On Thursday, I will take the kids to one of the towns on the Jersey Shore to give them a slice of Mommy history. Actually, I always felt cheated that we went to beaches without boardwalks when I was younger. The one we will visit has a boardwalk and the kids can get the flavor of a day at the beach mixed with pizza, cotton candy and games of chance. Oh and throw in an amusement ride or two.

I think I'm more excited than them! It will be just a day trip. The beach is quite nice there, but it's the kitsch factor that is really drawing me to visit.

We'll then head out for our annual end of summer pilgrimage to Montauk which is fast becoming a fine family tradition a couple of days later.

I'll probably be on a blog-light schedule but I will try to get around and catch up with my faves who I've missed a bit of late.

I did visit my Mom this past weekend at my brother's house. She is recuperating quite well. I did talk her out of invading Iran. Her face has healed amazingly well and her arm is coming along nicely. I was teasing her that I was going to take a picture for my blog. "You're not putting me on your blog!" Sorry Mom, too late for that. But alright, no incriminating pictures.

Enjoy the rest of your summer.

Telephone

You know getting information funneled down in a large family can sometimes prove to be very much like a game of telephone.

But firstly - thank you all for your caring words regarding my Mom. She is in the hospital and so far nothing specific is showing up in the tests (MRI/catSCAN, etc.). She is having a stress test tomorrow and all things being equal (to what, I'm not sure), she'll be going home by Thursday. She has a hairline fracture in her forearm and of course, contusions on her face and near her eye. Answers as to why this happened may not be evident.

The truth is - this is one tough woman. When she blacked out, she fell down with the impact of a boxer being knocked out and got herself up. My brother and I joked that raising ten children can do that to you. She actually never went to the hospital at that juncture because apparently in Anytown USA, volunteer ambulance corps come and check you out and leave that option up to the patient. The patient in this case is 82 and has just passed out and looks like she has gone twelve rounds with Mike Tyson. My mother being stubborn as she is, called her sister to take her home instead. My sister was then called who took my mom to the hospital where she is undergoing the various tests.

By the time this information gets to me (#7) in the hyperbolic family game of telephone, she has jumped from an airlifted ambulance as she refused treatment, taking a doctor hostage in the process. Still home for a cup of tea though.

My family has a slightly warped sense of humor, but thankfully my mother can still appreciate our odd takes on life such as they are.

It's hard living far away (and having small children) as I can't just drop and run. But I will see her this weekend and she will be staying at my brother and SIL's house as she recuperates.

So thanks for your good wishes. I'll keep you posted when she invades Iran.

On parents aging and such...

I sit here alternately staring at the screen and then hopping links to other blogs. I have been so erratic about posting of late - both in timing and topic. I think back and recall there were a few pretty good posts - just about life, some pretty funny as I remember them, some not so funny.

I wasn't going to blog about this because sometimes Reality Avoidance Therapy works best for me. I'll deal with it, but in my own quiet terms. The topic today - Parents Aging.

As some of you know, I come from a large Irish Catholic family before I jumped ship to Judaism about 12 years ago. I am the seventh of ten children. My father passed away in 1989 and my mother has since lived on her own more or less (wayward sons and divorces disturbing the relative calm of what's on sale at Shop Rite).

Tonight my sister R called to tell me that my Mom had a "spell" in church this morning and went outside whereby she must have blacked out and fallen. A priest came to her aid and she was taken to a hospital whereby they treated her physical wounds and released her! Her face is badly cut and bruised and swollen which just makes me cry. This is a woman who has barely a wrinkle thanks to good genes and Oil of Olay applied religiously. That just makes me cry - her soft skin being bruised up in such a violent way.

Anyway, the big guns were called in (which is my sister Susan) and she came over and brought my mom to a hospital proper where she is indeed being held overnight for observation and some tests (CAT scans, etc) will be performed.

My mother does not live right around the corner so I cannot just hop into the car and run to the hospital. I will go tomorrow or Tuesday based upon what we find out tomorrow. I feel sad for my Mom as I see the signs of aging taking their toll. Her hearing has gotten worse and for various reasons, she has refused a hearing aide. She probably should not still be driving but she said only half jokingly when I mentioned something to her a year or so ago "they'll never take me alive!" This, as we imagined a scenario of her home being surrounded by police requesting her license over a bullhorn, which she wouldn't hear as she turned the television ever louder behind the barricaded front door.

I look forward to her quick healing and me being able to joke with her that I told her no good can come of her hanging out in church so often. We'll have a good laugh of which she'll only hear half. And we'll have a cup of tea.

Just like old times.

Absence of Malace

The last thing I remember hearing, in addition to the flight departures in the background, was "$6 please. That's $6 m'am." I must have extended my hand and paid as the yellow gate bounced up and I drove through. But what happened next was unbelievable yet expected - my car slowly but surely made the steady climb skyward as Tali waved to the people on the Airtrain.

It all seemed so matter of fact. We'd wished for such a vehicle on many an occassion when 20 extra minutes would have been welcomed, but this was really happening. We landed in time to watch some reruns of The Simpsons that Tali has been taping. Yes that's how I used my time that was given me - like magic! We zipped through the commercials and then I didn't feel too well.

So it seems my squandering of the gift of time made my stomach turn sour and for the past two days I've stayed home from work. Although I wasn't DEATHLY ill - a sick instance is a sick instance as I always joked with my mother (and did today as a matter of fact). One day - phoney; three days - doctor's note; two days - just riiight.

Today was the best because I just decided to actually rest a bit as I had caught a glimpse of myself and I didn't look well quite frankly - dark circles under eyes/skin pale. I took an extra glimpse in the mirror to see how I could recreate this look for the office tomorrow. I clicked on the television and caught the last hour of High Anxiety which warmed me right up into 70's mode for Paul Newman in Slap Shot which was next. Can a day get wasted any better? Jaws wasn't on. I taped One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest for future viewing. Urged onward (or backward as the case may be), I downloaded some 70's radio gems from iTunes - Magnet and Steel (not the original version which has me pissed), Right Back Where We Started From, and Car Wash. Come on now - line dance!

I think I have sort of been coming down with this mystery malady and have felt even more underwhelmed of late. Pardon me if I haven't made my way about for a visit - nobody likes entertaining somebody who looks like the Corpse Bride. Well maybe you do.
I'll be around soon so don't forget me and leave a light on - never mind, I've got one on my head.

Stay tuned for answers to the hotly burning issues raised by my crafty post last week (this means you FirstNations)! Glue guns - hot or not? I was going to put some links up here, but I have these shows taped and I uh - what part about feeling blah don't you understand?!

Good night loves - actually I think I'll go read myself to sleep.


"I don't know what it is - I've gotta give in.
High Anxiety - xiety - You wiiin!"