Monday, June 26, 2006

Can this marriage be saved?

Every time we do it - we argue.

He has shouted in anger - "go to someone else, I'll pay!" I cry, "but why should I pay when it can be taken care of right here, at home, by my husband? Is this not covered under the laws of Moses and Israel in our Ketubah (marriage contract)" I plead helplessly.

I should have heeded the warning signs early on. I am fussy and like it done a certain way. He likes creative control and doesn't like me sticking my hands in where they don't belong. His words.

I'm always last on line - fit in where time permits. Well sometimes, I'm too tired, sometimes, he is. Sometimes we both are. But he always makes time for the paying ones. Oh yeah, then if I get to the point where I just can't do without, we wake up early and take care of business. I snipe accusingly, "if I paid perhaps I'd get the proper attention that I deserve".

Then came the children...oh, the children. They have no idea. If we didn't have time or were too tired before, well you can only imagine adding two small children to the mix.

Well, counseling is out of the question. He's gone to "workshops" and "seminars" on his own. I ask bitterly, "what good does that do if you don't try your new techniques on me"? He may be right, maybe I should just go to someone else...then, he'll see. He'll be begging for me to come back.

What can I say - it's not easy being married to your hairdresser...

Wait, what did you think I was talking about?

35 comments:

Kyahgirl said...

Bwaahahahaha! that was great g. You are too cute. Mr. Scissorhands is your hairdresser? Of course, why didn't I think of that before.

Kyahgirl said...

OMG-what would happen if you let someone else do your hair?

is that grounds?

G said...

Kyah - I think we can't even go there, that sadly is why I must blog about it.

Minka said...

Gosh you had me going there for a while...
But I always looked at the pic and though, she might be leading us in a trap, be careful Minka...read between the lines.

hairdressing is one of the most expensive things you can go to here in Iceland. That and teh dentist must be the job-opportunities of a life time here.

Joel said...

G...an interesting dilemma...perhaps some sort of barter relationship is in order or a system of internal allocations for hair care expense whereby no actual money changes hands but the family has an expense line that allows for the claiming of some priority of service. Perhaps my brain is in neutral and I can think of nothing funny to say that adequately compliments your wonderful post. Perhaps I should stop now.

Hope you and Snuppy enjoy your face to face meeting today!!!

G said...

Minka: You're a sly one Minka - always looking for that angle! Believe me, I am happy to save on the expense of caring for the family's tresses. That alone, puts us ahead of the curve.

Joel - Simply said: the shoemaker's children!?
Enjoy - I might abduct her :) Can't wait.

brian said...

You had me going, but something was off. Great post though, I was surfing for a cheap plane ticket!

You know, I never have had lobster even before I joined the green side.

~ good girl ~ said...

That was so good! Still chortling. Damn, that was good.

Doesn't matter how long I've been going to my MAIN MAN. I still get nervous sitting in his chair. And when I open my big mouth, "Err...just this tiny bit here, what do...," I hear his sigh of resignation. "Same, GG. Same as I've done it always." Like a guppy, I open and close my mouth twice more and mumble, "Ok, fine."

And bugger, I have pay.

What a great post!

GG

G said...

Let's see if this'll work now....

Brian: Why thank ya. And where might you be shopping cheap tickets to?

GG: Thank you for stopping by and so nice to make your cute acquaintance. Seems your guy shouldn't have too much of a problem with that little ponytail protruding from the back of your head.

G said...

GG: I'm laughing at your description of the encounters with your mane man. Maybe that is it - cause I don't have to stand for this! Well, actually either do you.

Thanks for stopping by.

Miz BoheMia said...

Oh no! Why am I the only freak to talk about sex? Someone b freaky like me p-lease!!!

Well, the pic had my mind out of the gutter (phew!) but I must say thou art a crafty lady for sure! Bravo, BRAVO!!!!

Oooh! How fun is that to be married to a hairdresser? My the fun times! But yeah, any hairdresser married to me would run, RUN I TELL YOU! I would want stuff done to me nonstop! Hair-wise... I am behaving!

neva said...

you should trust your hairdresser... he honors his craft by creating a fetching cascade of ... oh crap...screw the poetic waxing of prose here, your hair looks great!! and by great, i mean FABULOUS!!

i can totally relate to kyahgirl, by the way (i forgot to mention this before...) because, before i knew, i figured you called your hubby "mr. scissorhands" because he liked to cut things-not-necessarily-related-to-hair-but maybe-paper-and/or-shrubs.

i was gonna start out this comment by singing "The Street Where You Live" (My Fair Lady) but then i thought it would be too gay. (not that there's anything wrong with that). that said...

THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING ME TO ABDUCT YOU TODAY!! hope the mayo comes out of those lovely kid gloves (i'm thinkin' club soda)...and that they didn't manage to hire someone to replace you, since i kept you out so long!

sigh. you know, i'm pretty sure my comments will be wa-a-ay more clever and/or funny once i recover from the drive and/or shock of meeting my long-lost sister after all these years. xoxoxox

First Nations said...

hell, i'm barber and stylist here at rancho FirstNations. gimme a bowl, a set a pinking shears and some scotch tape and im all over that.
lord, you are BRAVE.
what if you'd been argueing?

~ good girl ~ said...

Seems your guy shouldn't have too much of a problem with that little ponytail protruding from the back of your head.

No, he has no problems whatsoever. In fact, he likes it. He yanks on it to make a point, looks me squarely, face to face in the mirror, we "hmph" and "grrrr", yank once, yank twice.

Main Man, "Cut. Cut cut cut. Here here and here."

Thanks for the welcome, G!

GG x

G said...

MizB: You know nobody freaks like you! That's it! The pic comes out, I want people's minds in the gutter. And yes, it does have its' rewards.

Neva: Not that there's anything wrong with it! I'm still recovering from our gathering today and I mean that in the best way possible! BTW, club soda did the trick and when I got back, Naida was propped up at my desk. I shoved her out, stepped over her body and continued on blogging.

FN: Why does that not surprise me? Well, you know, you garden, it seems a natural extention of your talents. Thing is Scissorhands knows that the consequences of a fucked up do are more than he could live with.

GG: I say you stick with your guy - seems you have a good understanding of one another.

That's why my hand is beckoning people in and I am honored by every visitor. So, thank you.

G said...

Neva - That would be our gathering yesterday, but you knew that.

Doug said...

I caught on from the picture too but you understand I hope that when it gets out you found a straight hairdresser you'll probably be torn apart by furies. Pia claims to know another but I'm skeptical.

G said...

Doug - why do you do this to me when I'm drinking water!

That's it - the picture goes!

pia said...

That was hysterical. But maybe you should go to somebody else...

G said...

pia - sometimes I do wonder what would it be like with someone else :)

Jenna Howard said...

-phew- I was all "I'm going crazy. What freakin' picture are they talking about?"

I'm a fickle hair person...bouncing around to whoever has an opening when I need a cut. Which reminds me...need a snip snip Friday afternoon and a color. Ooh maybe highlights.

Great blog, G!

G said...

Jenna: Adrian may have an opening Friday - drop by, and thanks :)

Minka said...

G, I am off for mainland Europe. Donæt know when I will see the screen of a computer, so I just wanted to say: have a happy summer and a wonderful July!

G said...

To you too Minka - go and come back safely! Have a wonderful July - this is our time of year!

Doug said...

Rabbit Rabbit

Miz BoheMia said...

YES! Straight male hair dressers are few and far in between! The guy who colors my hair is a straight, ex-circus performer Moroccan guy whose fellow male hairdressers are all gay (Petro, who is the owner and the only one who gets to cut my hair cause it is curly and man have many people botched it up, is in fact gay himself)...

Good girl for snatching up such a rarity! K-KISH BABY! K-KISH!

My Sping On Things said...

And here I thought you were talking about sex!!! I am such a dirty minded ho!

Came in through Puppytoes -- love your blog!

G said...

Rabbit Rabbit Doug!

MizB: Ooh I would love for you to be one of Adrian's clients. We'll make you green tea and dish while you process in his salon downstairs. Come on. Since this post, all sorts of straight hair dressers are coming out of the closet. It's funny Adrian is pretty traditional in other aspects, but his work is art to him, so he is creative in that sense. Now I just need to make time to have him direct his talents my way! The whole circus performer to hair dresser sort of makes sense though.

My Sping: Get your mind out of the gutter girl! Come on now I wasn't misleading in any way I don't think :)

Welcome welcome - of course, any friend of Puppytoes is a friend of mine! Thanks for coming by.

lbygl: I'll be your girl Mr. Scissorhands.

Pavel said...

Hi, I'm new here.

Oh my God! You had me going there for a long while! You're great.

That's it, I'm bookmarking you girl!

G said...

Pavel - How did you sneak in here!? Glad you did and that you had fun. Stop back, hear?

Pavel said...

Good Girl had you linked, I think, and if GG likes you, you gotta be interesting...

I definitely will stop by. Thanks for your wit!

G said...

So that's how you got to me! No matter, glad you came by - and thanks to that little good girl!

gingajoy said...

LMOA!
I was just reading this and thinking "whoah, i'm new here, but this chick is BRUTALLY frank"

yes, i think i'd whore around a bit on this one--it might only invigorate him. a bit of competition, you know?;-)

G said...

Like your thinking gingajoy - thanks for coming by.

weirsdo said...

LOL. I have found it better to take care of my own needs in that department, especially as I've gotten older. I just know myself better, and do it the way I like it. . . .