Thursday, February 22, 2007

While I Drove

...I worried about my mother driving.

...I wonder how Scissors and I can be good parents and a good couple with the bad examples that led us up to this point...

which is Alcoholism in both fathers...


...yada yada yada.

Then I came home...

and he had made dinner - any of you out there make homemade french fries? The kids love them.

And Julian was in the bathtub yelling "I'm drowning"...

...and Tali was doing her Math homework.

Afterwards we were all together in the kitchen, except for Scissors who was watching some Copa or another (sorry Scissors, I never do get them straight). We were into our usual evening routine which includes lots of silliness, such as the following interchange:

Tali: (speaking of a teacher in school) "Yes Ms. Direezi"
Me: "Must be nice having a teacher named Mister Easy"
Tali: "Not Mister Easy - Ms. Direezi!"
Julian: "Mister Easy, Mister Easy!"
Me: "Won't be hard with Mister Easy!"

I worry a lot. Maybe everyone does or maybe I am just the worrying kind. Maybe that's why I use so much humor in life. It sure passes the time in a pleasant way. Read the newspaper - isn't there enough unpleasantness in the world?

Growing up was a bit of a hard scrabble life for me in many ways, but the most useful tool that I brought from that is the ability to laugh at almost anything. You know, of course, within reason. But humor isn't about reason, it's about pushing the limits.

When I visited my Mom for her birthday this past weekend at some point, it was just she and I sitting at her dining room table next to each other. And I said, "this may be a convenient time for you to think about your will. You know like who is here with you on your birthday, sitting here with you on your birthday - not the day before, not the day after..." We had a good chuckle. I think I'm out of the will.

Next vignette finds Scissors and I sitting at the same table next to each other. Ring ring. My Mother answers the phone:

Mom: Hello?
Caller: weewah blee blee blah
Mom: Oh thanks. Yes Patrick and Dawn came yesterday. We went out to brunch. Yes Billy and Ruthie are coming tomorrow.
Me to Scissors sort of mouthing into the air(as I've just sat through a similar exchange): And G?
Mom: Yes, it was lovely
Me: And G and A and the kids?
Mom: Yes, Peter and Tommy called and will be visiting...
Me: What am I chopped liver?
Mom: Oh yes and G is here with the kids!
Me: Mazal tov.
Scissors "See, she mentioned you - happy?"

If you only had, say one other sibling, you might find this concerning. The truth is I find this infinitely funny.

Shabbat Shalom and have a good weekend. If you are so inclined, stop over to CENTRAL SNARKwhere Monday-Friday, it's just plain fun provided by Neva a/k/a Puppytoes and Saturday I'm featuring a new or old musical artist that has caught my ear.

Take care now.


HMBT said...

I too spend a lot of quiet time's something I am working on letting go. I am almost sure I am out of my parents will...HA! I have a similar backgound with a drinking father...I think it does set you up in life to be a worry wart if you grow up waiting for the other show to drop. Just stopping by to check in with you, and wanting to say Hi...I was thinking of you.

~cj~ said...

I think we all we all worry. Although I think some of us worry more than others. I myself am a worrier. My other half tells me frequently that I worry too much and need to just relax - but its not always the easiest thing to do. Its nice to know its not just me... and the finding humor in the most unlikely situations is a real talent... can make even the darkest skies a bit lighter.

Brian said...

Good morning GQ, hope your weekend will be quiet and peaceful.

First Nations said...

isn't it great, though, how fulfilling the ordinary family interactions reveal themselves to be when alcoholism isn't a factor in them? being free of that is such a blessing. congratulations for having said' not in this generation; not in my family, not around my kids'.

G said...

heather: I think I just have a little nervous inside voice that I need to quell from time to time. It's true, children of Alcoholism have a built-in stress trigger for life. Thanks for thinking of me and for dropping by. Have a good weekend. ~ G

cj: Even in a moment containing perhaps what could be considered a homicidal thought, I stop and consider the humor of the situation. We need to relax a bit huh? Love your new avatar. Are the kids hiding behind you :)?

Brian: Morning. Hope yours is also - be well and take care.

fn: So so very true and a blessing to be sure. Thank you, it's just not going to be a factor for my children to ever be afraid in their own home - Never.

pia said...

I used to call my family the anxious family because they worried so much.

After my Mom died, I realized that all the worrying in the world didn't stop her from falling

So I have been focusing on really not sweating the small stuff

It's difficult, and I have one sibling--just one--who I met for dinner the other night with her family

I really didn't have moving or anything big on my mind--she began with why I should move to Park Slope, not CA--and listed more negatives than I could imagine

It's truly difficult to get away from this lifetime mindset but I must if I want my life to be spent not worrying

Thanks G for another excellent witty but thought provoking post

neva said...

"weewah blee blee blah"? hahahaha! i hate to tell ya this, NBFF (well, not really, since i plan to do so rightthisminute), but your conversations with your mom are not unlike many i've had to endure with my own. maybe we are chopped liver, eh?

as for your "worries" (what, you worry?) over your mom's will? heh heh -- our sister (Terri) and i often laugh about the same darn thing, especially of late, when our other sis (no, you do NOT want to claim kinship with this one) is already starting to stake her claim on a variety of objects d'art/jewelry/furniture/money. oy.

what a great post -- and thank you for that lovely shout-out... tho' i've said it before and i'll say it again, your BRILLIANT Saturday Spins are what keep people coming back to the Snark, week after week after week!

Shabbot Shalom, my dear dear friend! xoxox

Logophile said...

A Jewish mother who worries??
Nevah hoid of such a ting!

Guess that confuses the nature/nuture argument again, huh?

I know you've heard it but really, your kids are amazing, and you are a wonder.
I love this post and through it, like so many of your posts, the heart of you speaks a language unpronouncible that reverberates with the timeless pulse of familial love and humor and all that accompanies it.
Thank you

Cheesemeister said...

I'm a tremendous worrier. But the biggest worriers of all were the people in my paternal grandmother's hometown before at the age of 88 they finally wouldn't renew her license anymore. That woman was the worst driver that ever existed! Yet she truly must have had the Holy on her side because she was never seriously injured and never killed anybody.

G said...

Pia: That reminds me of "The Eggshell Family" skit on Saturday Night Live years ago which was modeled after mine. Hah!

That's so true - our worries are wasted energies in the big scheme of things. Oy, families, can't live with em, and they won't let you live without them. Just kidding any lurking family members of mine :)

Sometimes you need to physically break free as well. Thanks for another thoughtful wonderful comment.

Neva: With onions! I am cracking up because well, what else can you do? I have shared about the stickers underneath things in my Mom's curio cabinet and about her home bearing various names of her children. I think you, Terri and I should just get everything and never mind Scarf-face! You just crack me up! XOX

Logo: Right!! The whole nature/nurture argument is always swirling in a state of flux around my head.

Wow, your sweet and heartfealt words are now swirling around my head with nature and nurture. Give me a hug. Thank you.

Cheesemeister: It's amazing the luck some of these "elderly" drivers have. It doesn't help that my Mom looks youthful but her fits and starts mode of travel is a good tipoff of her age. Sorry Mom.

Tom & Icy said...

A slice of life sometimes feels more like scrambled eggs

Claire said...

My father was an alcoholic/drug addict who killed himself. My mom says he was 'tortured'. I don't know but I sure was tortured- by him! ha!I know just what you mean by having the worry thingy stamped on your psyche. I too feel as if I have overcome this curse by having a great family of my own!

tsduff said...

My hubby died of alcoholism - it is real. we yam what we yam - I really enjoy reading your posts. Usually they are insightful, real, sometimes funny, but always interesting. Thanks G

actonbell said...

Anyone who can't laugh goes crazy, so good job, G!! Wonderful perspective, wonderful post:) I'm worrying a lot right now, and perhaps I'm borrowing trouble. Hard to say, hard to laugh--yet. But I'll get here:)

Diesel said...

Love is strong enough to break any pattern.

See you at the Snark tomorrow, G. Glad you've got a post queued up, because I STILL haven't gotten your email....

G said...

Tom&Icy: We're kosher or I'd offer you some bacon with it - how about some toast? I do know what you mean though and sometimes I'd just prefer mine over easy.

Claire: It's the "best revenge" which I don't really mean in the true sense of the word, but you know what I mean. It's another chance at a life well lived and I'm taking it. I'm sorry - that must have been a very tragic experience for you. Many survivors out in this world. Keep up the good work.

Terry: That must have been a very difficult experience for you. My husband's Dad died of alcoholism also. That's right - "we yam what we yam" and we just keep on keepin on. Thanks for your more than kind words which are always a pleasure to see.

Actonbell: Thank you. You will. Don't worry too much, it all comes to pass one way or the other and usually it's the other way from our worries (somehow this isn't making sense except in my head). I think you know what I mean. I know when I read your work posts that you've gotten to the point where you can laugh.

Diesel, that is so sweetly put that I shall adopt that for my mantra.

Something is screwey with me sending this email. I'll play around again tomorrow. See you in The Snark.

Dan said...

Another wonderful post G! I hope you're not out of the will, though! :)

And I do make home-made french fries. They're baked! I have a french fry cutter that works like a charm. They're sprinkled with all sorts of spices, including cayenne pepper and baked to perfection. Sprinkled with salt and consumed immediately. God, I'm getting hungry! :)

How's it going my friend?

Doug said...

I'm not worried. If the kids grow up bad they can always get jobs with the carnival.

G said...

Dan: Considering the size of the estate and the number of beneficiaries, it is a running joke in my family.

Now see, you give a perfect recipe and leave no samples for trying - be like that.

Doug, Your kids would make perfect barkers.

neva said...

unless i'm mistaken (wouldn't be the first time) wishes for a Happy Anniversary are in order for Mr. & Mrs. Scissorhands today.

if i'm wrong, apologies. if i'm right:



G said...

Never apologize for good wishes, they're welcome any time. You are so very sweet and thank you. Due to technical (what other kind do I ever experience?) difficulties, I now have my delayed post up. thank you again dear NBFF. XOX

goldennib said...

I am out of the will so often, I don't think I've ever been in.

We must laugh or we will cry.

G said...

Goldennib: The will is a running joke with my Mom. Indeed laughter is a bit more fun.

weirsdo said...

Kids cause worry, but also take it away. I'm reading this one late, so Toyplayer is reenacting the Alberto Gonzalez hearings with stuffed animals. It's hilarious. Even more than the real thing.

weirsdo said...

And I do make homemade fries. My kids like them too.