Thursday, July 26, 2007



I've called you here for an important dispatch. One so important that I thought a PressConference necessary.

You've been waiting for it without even knowing what you've been waiting for.

Diesel of Mattress Police and founder of is publishing a book! A funny book. A witty book. A well written book. If I seem rehearsed, I'm just trying to remember what he told us to say about it. Yes, of course he told us what to say - the guy is a control freak. He has allowed for our varying levels of endorsement of his witty tomb and has even gone so far as to recommend possible posts:

"Diesel, the twisted genius behind the humor blog,, has announced the publication date for his first book! Antisocial Commentary: From the Secret Files of the Mattress Police, is a hilarious excursion through the mind of Diesel"
Twisted genius - I'll say. Who else but a twisted genius makes a tree house for his kids with a front door that opens to a 20 foot drop? Twisted genius indeed.

"You may be wondering how in hell a hack like “Diesel” gets published. Simple. The same way every other hack gets published these days: He self-published the book through You know, the place that ranks just below Kinko’s as a reputable publisher?" Why the thought did cross my mind, but it all makes perfect sense now.

Okay, all of the above is meaningless, here's what's important:

BOOK TITLE: Antisocial Commentary: From the Secret Files of the Mattress Police.

WHAT IT'S ABOUT: compilation of some of his best posts, plus some original material.

The book is going to be published on 8/15, but he'll start taking “pre-orders” at MATTRESS.POLICE.COM today, 7/26. It will retail for $11.95 + S&H, but you'll be able to pre-order a signed copy for $9.95 with free shipping.

Mostly you should buy it to help pay for the mounting medical bills associated with casting his poor kid's arm from falling out of the aforementioned treehouse.

No really - you should buy it for the same reasons I plan to:

- Help support a fellow blogger bud.
- The guy really is funny and writes well.
- You can use it to even out a lopsided table (his suggestion).
- It's a summer read - you won't even have to think while you read it. Actually that's not true, but if I know Diesel, he'll be happy to do that for you too.
- Two lattes would set you back ten bucks. Diesel is like a jolt of caffeine on a quiet day, so you won't even need to drink coffee as you read his book.

Okay, the real truth is that Diesel did not pay us to do these posts, he doesn't have to. He's a mensch, and makes you want to support his efforts. His success would be our success as we'd be that happy for him. The best is that he is most certainly not a hack - he writes well, with humor, sarcasm and wit - all from his own funny (albeit twisted) view of life.

So head on over and read up more at his place. Go on, nothing to see here folks. Move along.


Anonymous said...

been there, bought 5 copies, putting the house up for sale, even as we speak. ; )

Claire said...


robkroese said...

But one quick before Neva gets them all!

Thank you, G. This was a great post. I have a few minor nits to pick, but I'll send you the revisions in an email. Mostly about toning down the 'control freak' part.

Anonymous said...

Neva, save some for others!

Diesel, hahahaha! Revisions to follow...

robkroese said...

Apparently I didn't even proofread my own comment. Sigh.

Gale said...

I am such a rebel. I am going to stick around and read. Ha! Tell me there is nothing to see...mumble mutter..harumph!

G said...

Diesel, that's okay because I didn't pay attention anyway ;)

Gale, see - I knew I liked you!

Ariel the Thief said...

why, I did want to help pay for the mounting medical bills associated with casting his poor kid's arm from falling out of the aforementioned treehouse!

G said...

Ariel, that is so charitable of you. I'm wiping a tear.