Tuesday, September 25, 2007


It was Yom Kippur. A high stakes gambling ring had gathered in the back room of the synagogue. The game started off friendly enough but as each player was eliminated, the tension in the air grew. A guard stood firmly at the door.

The final two players were at the table. At this point, they had each taken a standing position surveying the game before them, their posture slightly stooped and leaning over the table. Spectators gathered round, elbowing their way in to get a front row view. The one player seemed intent on avenging her twin's earlier ouster; the other coolly studying the board as she tapped her pile of bills. With one more roll of the dice, victory was declared. As the winner gathered her earnings about her and picked up Park Place from the floor, a familiar voice cut through the excitement.

"Let's go Tali - services are over."

Any resemblance to a real life scenario is purely coincidental.


Ariel the Thief said...

G, that is just too funny! I googled and read everything I found about about Yom Kippur but no mention of a game with dice. Oh, remember now... that's just fiction.

Minka said...

but of course it is!

Welcome to the New Year!

Doug The Una said...

Well, Tali probably doesn't have a lot to atone for at least until you find the gum in Juilian's hair.

Nessa said...

Very funny.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like good times to me!

G said...

Ariel, actually look for the Wikipedia update ;)

Minka, indeed. What better way to ring it in then on a winning streak?

Doug, hmmm he's doing for a hair washing tonight as a matter of fact!

Nessa, real life here with G. Just your basic down to earth heathens.

Cindra, yeah good times indeed. Kid's gotta pass the time somehow.

Shari said...

Totally unexpected ending. Good writing, but I am sure you knew that already. :)

tsduff said...

I like to be the iron - what is Tali's game piece? Rats - I always lose that game.

FirstNations said...

top hat!
me too. tali would whip my butt. everyone can. *snif*

BeckEye said...

See, who says Yom Kippur isn't funny?

I hate Monopoly. One of my brothers excelled at it, and he used to make up rules like "amnesty," which was not at all as nice and charitable as it sounds.

Rimshot said...

Thanks for the smile! Well done.

G said...

Shari, prayer with a twist. Thank you so much.

Terry, Tali's was the money bag. I liked the tophat or the Scottie dog.

fn: Another for the tophat! Yeah mine too, but she's making me feel a bit competitive so I may just take her on.

Beckeye - not me! ;)

You know I always hated Monopoly too - I think mostly for the reasons that you mentioned. But the way these kids were playing, it made me want to join in. Thanks for the visit!

Rimshot: Thanks for the visit and the compliment. Both are much appreciated.

Anonymous said...

am i not just the best NBFF ever??? don't you wish ALL your friends would be like me, and not bother to show up for a wonderful post until DAYS after you've lovingly put it up?

oy. Happy New Year -- and thank you again for helping to ensure my next year will be a wonderful as the last!

seriously, that was a fantastic birthday surprise. so glad i could repay your thoughtfulness by "ignoring" you and/or this hilarious and completely charming post for an entire week. that said, please don't break up with me because i'm stupid -- i PROMISE i'll do better next time!! (remember, i'm old now, that means it's hella hard to remember stuff)


Mother Theresa said...

That was really funny. Are you sure there's not even a nugget of truth in there somewhere? I once wanted to take a deck of playing cards to church to play solitaire (no poker or anything like that) and my mom was scandalized.

Miz BoheMia said...

I am so cracking up at this... faboo and just oh so funny... me knows (screw "methinks") that Tali and Lil' B would have a ball together...

And all these Jewish holidays sound oh so faboo (and delish!) and magical! Much to my dismay, all our Jewish friends here are Buddhist dammit! Bah! I want in on some festivities I say!

So keep these posts coming so I can live it up vicariously through you! What say you, hmmmm? Now don't you go all Buddhist on me too!

*gaspetty GASP*


Hope all is going splendidly well and that many a special moment is had with your delightful family during the holiday season! Big boho neshikot to you my dear G!

Ariel the Thief said...

Rabbit, rabbit!

Sweet and Salty said...

Too funny, G! I remember a couple of years ago when I was teaching the kids about Hanukkah and we even said the prayers on all eight night and then they would get to open a present every day and they got some gelt!
After that, Christmas seemed boring!

Anonymous said...

Rabbit, Rabbit!! : ) xox

Claire said...

How sweet! Take that spirituality any way you can get it...:)

tsduff said...


Anonymous said...

g, happy new year

Thanks for responding to my comment. I just felt I had to stick up for a fellow Mancunian. Its something that we tend to do without thinking in the north of England. I was just being a little sarcastic on the “humour blog” post, something else we do pretty well in my neck of the woods. Comes from a tough upbringing. Its not easy being sent down the pit to dig for coal when your only five years old.

One of the older kids used to look down on me, he was a chimney sweep, bum bum. I never used to win at monopoly, my sister always used to say winning was bad for you. Unless we were arguing of course, in that case losing was the gentlemanly thing to do apparently.

Anyway must dash I have to wash my flat cap as I’m off to watch Manchester United v Roma tonight where there will be plenty of singing & friendly exchanges of insults with those Italian chappy’s Toodle pip.

Best wishes,


Doug The Una said...

I think we've atoned quite nicely already.

The ZenFo Pro said...

Chica, that's an awesome story.

G said...

Neva, actually I do because then I'd look good in comparison. Now don't be silly. And thank you and you're welcome and I love you. XOX

Theresa, I'm laughing because well, I grew up Catholic so understand your Mom's reaction. I subsequently converted to Judaism later in life and synagogue services can range (especially on the HIgh Holidays) about 4 hours. Needless to say, kids would be hanging from the rafters if not for a little "friendly" wagering :)

MizB: Oh definitely - you can tell by the sparkle in both of their eyes, two peas in a pod!

I hate when that happens :) We have a sukkah and a buddha in our backyard (perhaps I'm confused but I find my buddha so peaceful). Thanks for your always wonderful visits and I just may eek a post out today :) XOX and big NESHIKOT to you and the wonderful bohemians.

Ariel, tibber tibber (she said quietly).

Pavel, that's a very sweet thing to do with your children. It's hard to match the fun of that gelt and a gift each night.

Neva, tibber tibber (at this late date). XOX

Claire, lessons all around us in different forms, right? Glad to see you out and about. I'll be round for a visit.

Terry, (hangs head in shame) tibber tibber.

Granny: Thank you.

You did the right thing sticking up for your fellow Mancunian. And I loved your sarcasm, it's a language we have in common. Haha, your sister set you on the right road, I've done the same for my younger brother.

I'm sure you enjoyed your team's win 1-0 - my husband cheered over here for them. Thanks for the visit and Toodle pip (like that).

Doug, oh right atoning - that's what I was doing.

Zenfo, thanks Dude. Nice to see you.

Hobbes said...

Was Mr. Banana present?

G said...

Hobbes, Mr. B. provided the muscle at the door.

Hobbes said...

Of course.