Julian has had a year of many changes, advances and challenges. When you have a child with special needs, keeping on top of evaluations is key as you especially want to make sure that they are in the appropriate class setting, receiving the right services. This year has proved to be a real challenge in getting Julian out of the door for school, to the dinner table, into the bathtub and into his pajamas, settling down for a book and well, you get the picture - pretty much anything that requires a transition of any sort.
So we saw his pediatric neurologist recently who seems to think our thoughts that Julian may have ADHD are pretty well founded. We asked for a referral to have him tested and at the same time have someone to talk to for both us and Julian to help us through these rough developmental patches.
Enter "Dr. Mark" whom Scissors and I met with this past Monday and now Julian and I met with today. Scissors is not as sold on the process as I am - something about psychobabble something or other. I always view things through the lens of humor. It's not that I don't take it seriously as I certainly think therapy is quite a valuable tool in helping cope with life stressors. I also find it full of infinite blog fodder. I just wish that I could sit there with a notepad and write down some of the funny exchanges. On the way to the office, Julian said in his little monotone "I know why we're going here - it's because of my behavior business last night."
I assured Julian his happiness and being able to talk about being angry and why were what Dr. Mark was going to help us with. He said that he might be shy and I assured him that was okay as I would be with him.
I'll skip the tete-a-tete of meeting Dr. Mark, but as we got down to brass tacks and playing with the therapist's favorite tool - the doll house, Julian made quick work of shoving many people into the house to watch TV. One TV wasn't enough - there had to be two so that he could watch Thomas and Spongebob! Then he described the people as lying down. The doctor then asked, "So Julian, the people are all just lying down and watching TV?"
I quickly wanted to yell out "Objection! Leading the witness!" but refrained. Julian couldn't have modeled one of our more admirable activities, like picking a Saturday Spin?
Not one to answer a question directly, Julian made the play more fanciful with horses and dogs taking up valuable couch space. The doctor asked Julian some other question which he responded with "Drumroll please!" So the doctor gave him a drum.
This continued with each response needing a drumroll preceding it. That is until Julian turned the tables and said "Now you're Julian." and began asking the same questions back to the doctor with the doc playacting along and Julian doing a not too bad imitation.
When it got down to Julian confessing to using bad words because Mommy did, I glanced at my watch to thankfully see time was indeed dwindling. The worst I've apparently said was shut up, which I'm not proud of, although I'm pretty sure I've never said it to him. I can't swear that I've never told Scissors the same in a heated moment. If I did, I apologize. I'm certainly not proud of this, but he could have credited me with worse.
So by the time we left the office, Dr. Mark had a clear picture of us as a family of foul mouthed laggards who lie about watching Spongebob and telling each other to shut up.
It could be worse, I imagine. I won't have to imagine, we'll be seeing Dr. Mark next week. Okay everybody, battlestations NPR!
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(Holy cow! I don't think I've ever been first!)
Ah, nothing like taking your kids to the psychologist or some such doctor and have your child reveal all the family "quirks" in the first 15 minutes. ROFL!!! Been there, done that; didn't want the tshirt...
You made me laugh, confessing to the bad languge. G, just remember, this doctor probably goes home to his disfunctional family with nutty kids and such.
I loved Julian's confession; my big guy has momemts of confession like that and I can't help but hug him for it.
Oh G, I shouldn't be laughing...With you at Julian's side and Spongebob, there's no telling how far he will go
I remember those doll houses well. I was so eager to please and yet something about doll houses in a male doctor's office--the unenlightened
early 60's--made me want to act out
I didn't want to play family. I wanted to play Kennedy family a game I invented for my friends.
I thought that was much more rational. My family? The JFK's? no contest
I think Julian's so lucky as nobody is going to stifle his imagination but encourage it
While I agree with Scissors about psychobabble I do think Julian needs a safe place he can talk it all out. I'm glad Julian can have two TV's--they probably would have questioned my motives
I'm looking forward to hearing about Julian's progress for many many years to come
Humor helps. Not to plug my article again but it has one of the funniest beginnings I have ever read and is absolutely true
Thank you so much for your comment. I feel that I have put my "long term" readers through so much and sometimes wonder why people come back. Thanks again
Julian sounds like my kind of guy especially since he likes dogs and horses on the couch with him while watching tv, LOL!
You've said "shut up" *gasp*!? OMG, Shut. Up. Hahahaha :)
I've been away quite a while, including missing your most superb reading over at Doug's place last Saturday, which was by the way, melodic and smoothly spoken. Oddly enough your voice reminded me a little of Javajazz (Lisa). Do you have any hippie in you? :)
My eldest daughter Rebecca used a sandbox during her therapy at 10 years old - and threw all the people out completely, prefering horses to any other living beings. That was some 22 years ago, and we all survived.
Besides - what's wrong with Spongebob?
Can't help but laugh...those kids, they'll let all the skeletons out of the closet when you're not looking, or worse, when you are. ;)
Two pieces of unsolicited advice from someone in the biz: First: Take any diagnosis as secondary to the goals Julian has. Second: Never worry about what the diagnostician might think of you or Julian as all diagnosticians are high-functioning autistics (as am I.)
"I know why we're going here - it's because of my behavior business last night." sounds like something Tali would see. I love it.
Pavel, you should win a prize or something!
Yeah, it didn't take long at all. I think I'll skip on the shirt also :)
I'll have that image handily in mind as he jots notes. I know when they become this sweet honest open book (as they drag you down), I too just want to give him a hug and tell him to SHUT.UP. Just kidding, I swear!~
Pia, laugh with me please. We need to. Haha on the unenlightened early 60's.
I too agree to a certain extent on the psychobabble but wholly agree on Julian's need for a safe place to explore his emotions.
Plug away on your article. I look forward to reading it! I love that series. Also I hope I cleared up why we long termers can't get enough so keep it up.
Claire, once he got the animals going, there was no more room for the humans. SHUT.UP. hahahaha :)
Terry, you've had good reason to be otherwise occupied, sis. Yeah, I've got hippie in the bloodline - I grew up amidst blacklights and protest. I'll take that as a compliment - too bad I couldn't pull off the flute part.
I know that this is all somehow helpful but the process is fairly comical (sorry Julian). What I want to explain to the therapist is that Spongebob is kind and in my humble opinion - this generation's Bugs Bunny. He can be quite brilliantly witty at times.
Mother Theresa, shaking those bones right there in front of my face. Little devils :)
Doug, unabashedly so.
I like the unsolicited advice. Believe it or not, I thought we came off pretty well - all things considered :)
Haha - he did sound a bit like Tali. He's being groomed.
Oh dear. But it does make excellent blog fodder.
Weirsdo, yes, there's that. I question my motives now as to whether I'm seeking help or blog fodder...perhaps both.
You made a very funny post of it. I hope dr. Mark will be a help to you or maybe you will be help to him. :-)
So far we're helping him line his pockets. Time will tell.
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