You know I'm sitting here and I could cry. You must think I cry a lot. Not really, except when I write things that touch something inside.
Tonight when I got home from work, we ate quickly and headed out to a local park. The night was clear, humidity low; the kids ran around enjoying the freedom. We're here to hang out and enjoy a free concert so blankets and chairs are spread everywhere. The musicians are just warming up.
Now I have mentioned a bit about Julian. You see, sometimes he walks around without awareness, i.e., across blankets, kicking a ball in his path, sitting in someone's seat - it's all fair game. Sort of the Mr. Magoo of the Preschool set. He has certain sensory integration issues where his body doesn't always signal "too close", "take a step back", "don't lay across that child".
Tonight, children are criss-crossing in their various activities. If you are not tracking Julian's every move, it may go okay, it may not. Sometimes in the mayhem of settling in, we each think the other is watching. I mean we're there with friends, he's within peripheral vision. The other thing is sometimes in the mayhem, Julian's not sure what to do when he finds himself in the center of 50 kids running this way and that. I'm scanning and I see him. A child has just fallen down. Oh very nice, he's going over to help him u - oh not very nice, he's going to lay on top of the kid. As he is in motion to do so and has pretty much accomplished this feat, I yell out "Julian!" and at this time the kid's father takes Julian by his upper arm which isn't too much bigger than my wrist and waves the equivalent of a red flag in front of a bull - he exerts a slight pressure. Now I get there of course in .0125 seconds and say "Don't put your hands on my son - didn't you see me coming?!". To which he shoots back "Well that's only the third time". To which I say, "I am here, you see me coming, don't you ever ever put your hands on my child - EVER.". Now at this point I have the Queens Crazy Bitch look and I'm thinking I'll rip his head off and kick it across the field. It seems he senses this and turns and beats a hasty retreat to his yenta wife on their blanket. Luckily Scissors is not there in this moment. We may have been like sharks in a feeding frenzy. Don't get me wrong, I correct Julian, redirect him, don't let him get away with actions with impunity. But here's the thing, he has no idea, there is no malicious intent in his actions. It's a work in process learning all of these social ques. I certainly would never and have never put my hand to someone's child period.
Julian has taken this opportunity and has now struck off on the great squirrel hunt. When I catch him, he does not want to hear about his misdeeds, and is quickly on the path to the old story change "so then it's just pathetic! pathetic!" both hands gesticulating about as he tries to escape around the tree. He doesn't necessarily mean this about the present situation, but these are the words he can call up. As I think back it is just pathetic, no less than 3 people gave him "a look" when he stepped on their blanket or went to sit on a stool with one of their kids. It's downright cruel. I would never be mean to a child, just never.
Believe me, I understand Kathleen Turner's role in the movie Serial Mom.
Next time I won't be so nice.