Wednesday, April 23, 2008

PLEASE FORWARD ME TO INFINITY AND BEYOND

Chain emails, that is. The latest one I received promised some sort of never ending prosperity compliments of the Dalai Lama if I forwarded it on to the number coincidentally corresponding to my favorite number (which I have now changed to zero for such emails). A friend forwarded it with the tag line "this is interesting." STOP!!! It's not interesting. It's ridiculous and an insult to our intelligence, but yet I did go through it just to make sure.

For instance, it gives a listing of animals. I'm doing this by memory but they were a horse, rat, tiger, sheep and something else furry. You were to order them from most to least favorite. Now who puts a rat at the top of their list? Michael Jackson? So when you do get to the end, you find out that these are listed in the order of what is important to you in life. The vaunted horse is family, the rat is work or money as if we are all good and humble humans, everything will stack up as it should family first/work last. Couldn't they have made the rat symbolic for family to shake things up? What? My family is last?! Well, they do demand so much of me...

Of course unbeknownst to you, they had a listing of words which you had to freely associate with another. Think fast - coffee! Strong, hot, abstaining, steamy...expensive. Coffee stood for sex. Ooh, that was a toughie. Why couldn't the word have been fish? Cause that wouldn't be fun. Nobody wants to have a cold, slimy, scaley sex life. At least, I don't think so; well perhaps a goldfish.

Quick, think of your favorite number and multiply it by number of pets you have, divide it by your number of marriages and subtract the number of children you've had. Then forward this post to that number of people and never email me again!

9 comments:

Tom & Icy said...

I won't even open an email unless I know who it is from because many of them contain virus that download onto your computer.

Theresa said...

All those e-mails go directly to my spam box, so I never even have to see them. But I get more for via@ra than chain e-mails, go figure. :)

weirsdo said...

Sounds as if some variety of Asian horoscope was involved with those animals.
A belated happy Passover. I spent mine playing with Jewish musicians ignored by the symphony board.

Doug said...

Thank you! I'd go so far as to say if you forward me one of those emails, you aren't forwarding it to a friend anyhow so deduct one.

The chain letters are never interesting, the jokes are never funny and the cats are never cute.

Leave me off the list until your obituary comes out.

G said...

T&I, I know. These are usually of the innocuous variety that many well meaning friends/family send.

Theresa, I have to check what's going on because my emails all seem to be nothing but ads. So little spam is caught.

Weirsdo, yes it probably was now that you mention it.

Thank you. That may be pretty symbolic of the Passover story - but rather than enslaved, they've been ignored. You would be a sort of Moses taking them out of bondage.


Doug, amen brother. Stop the insanity. Your request is duely noted.

tsduff said...

Why on earth do people keep sending them? I've gotten the one you described... and ha ha, I love your analysis :) (why oh why did I go through it too?) Silly things, NOT interesting, and like Doug so succinctly put it, friends don't send friends chain emails!

Mo'a said...

I don't open them...I have two very intelligent friends that send them...if they keep it up they will be drummed out of Mensa.
That is what I think of that.

Ariel the Thief said...

Hard to choose a fave of anyhting. Fave in what way? To look at? To live with? To take for a walk? To eat?

Do you think they listen and stop sending chain emails to you?

G said...

Terry, I really am not sure. They really think it's interesting? Haha, you got lured in too! Let's all promise to never forward one! I've already made that promise, join me.


Mo'a, you are wise. I don't open 98@% - every once in a while, I get caught. I shall join you in the drumming! :)


Ariel, hah hah - so true. And no, they are serial emailers, it won't stop although I'm thinking of sending such a request personally pleaing. I'll let you know if it stops. And Happy Birthday to you my dear sweet blog friend!