Friday, June 08, 2007

Asleep at the Wheel

I was sitting at my desk shuffling papers so as to put them in the right priority of what to put off first when Narnia alighted my doorway and just launched into a conversation as if we had been talking all along. She talks in this incredulous tone as if she's giving you the most amazing news. It might be a cultural thing - she's originally from the Philippines.

"My son picked me up last night and right between exits 51 and 52, a man just decided to go to sleep right there." her voice building to a crescendo. "Probably he just wanted us to go around him, my son laughed".

"Let me understand this correctly" I say, "the man was sitting in traffic?"

"No!" exclaims Narnia "he was just sitting there in the middle lane asleep."

"With no cars in front of him?" I venture.

"No, just sitting there so everyone had to go around him. We were in the HOV lane" she explains helpfully.

"From my way of thinking, why would the man decide he's too tired to drive and just stop and go to sleep right in the middle lane of a highway? Wouldn't he just have gone to the shoulder of the road?" I ask.

"Yeah, that's true!" Narnia cries.

"I mean what if the guy was dead?" I ask trying to hide my growing irritation.

"That's true, I hope he got home okay" she says.

"Me too." I offer.


Mother Theresa said...

Very strange! Didn't they even call the police or something? I wouldn't have gotten out of my car, because you never know what might be going on, but everyone has a cell phone these days.

Heather said...


Hobbes said...

So New Yorkers really haven't seen it all yet.
I agree, it would have been best to call. I bet someone did.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure somebody called.

Excuse me for laughing but I find that hysterical

Of course I am a New Yorker, and born & bred ones would always move to the side of the road--call and wait for the police

Don't think I would risk walking in the middle of the Expressway, and maybe the person is crazy

But Narnia's reaction: wow

G said...

Theresa, nah - apparently it didn't strike them as strange. That's Narnia (not her real name) for you. I agree - that's what cell phones are for. Well that, and talking without your hands free and getting a $90 ticket.

hmbt - indeed hmbt. That's what I'm dealing with here.

Hobbes, apprently not. I'm thinking somebody did and perhaps Narnia's story was exaggerated which is always a distinct possibility.

Pia, Pfew, I was beginning to think I was the only one with a sick sense of humor as I laughed too. Agree on all counts. I think we're missing a piece of the puzzle which could quite possiblty be in the telling by Narnia.

Are you back? Nah, not yet. Hope you're enjoying the weather.

Anonymous said...

G*d bless Narnia. and anyone who had the misfortune to spring forth from her loins.

too too funny! and yet, considering the source of this amazing news, not at all surprising. hey, at least she pays attention to something -- which may come in handy down the, um, road. heh heh. ; ) xox

Nessa said...

Perhaps this happened in "her" world?

Doug said...

Good gravy!

Narnia is too good a name. What an idiot.

Sweet and Salty said...

"I hope he got home okay."

hee hee...

Okay, now that I got the giggles out, how could she NOT think to call the police or something?

G said...

Neva, you know I'd rather not wake her from her ignorant bliss, but sometimes I can't help it. You've met her on her best behavior but I'm sure you got a notion in said exchanges.

Goldennib, I have a feeling you may be onto something there.

Doug, it's a pseudonym conferred upon her by my NBFF. I feel a little guilty poking fun as she has survived a stroke five or so years back and had slipped into a coma. Having said that, I'm not sure she really ever came to.

Pavel, the operative word here is "think". That's where the problems begin and end with her.

Claire said...

Yeah, poor Narnia, she doesn't sound like she's playing with a full deck.

ann said...


that sounds most worrying...

hope whoever it was, was okay...

Shabbat Shalom to you and all yours

lotsa luv ann xxxx

Ariel the Thief said...

oh my. I hope his living or dead body got out of the traffic intact.

Shari said...

He could have been diabetic or had a heart attack.

Weird, you'd think that the car would keep going and cause an accident.

People look at things differently. Maybe it's cultural or a frame of reference (the way one is brought up and thinks).

She wasn't blonde, was she? Philippines are usually dark-haired, right?

FirstNations said...

you know, this is odd. my daughter had a former boss who was from the same country and she shared the same 'Gracie Allen' thought processes as this 'Narnia' you speak of.

"I not fire you unless you come back this morning different shirt! I see you belly ONE INCH high! But you not engaged! So you stay here and not leave today, all right?'

we never did figure that one out. the fact that it was the middle of winter and the late shift only added to the general confusion.

Anonymous said...

I think Narnia used to work for me.

Miz BoheMia said...

Oh dios mio! I am laughing my ass off but only because I have had a Narnia or two babysit us as kids... there are many Filipinos here in Spain, a popular country for them to come to and an adventure or two has been had FO SHO!

We once had a Filipina nanny, one of many, who found it hilarious to stick her eyelids in so it looked like her eyeballs were popping out and run after my brother and I, when we were 5 and 4 respectively, as we screamed and cried out in terror. She did this when my mom and stepdad would go out for dinner and she found it hilarious. But then she hit us with a branch in the park once and my mom beat her up before kicking her out to the curb... and that is ONE of many such stories!

Dios mio! My point? I have none and perhaps that is the point... ha, ha,haaaa!

Fabulous post as always amiga mia and your delivery? Brilliant FO SHO!

Al said...

Funny, G!

She probably made it all up.

She should write for the Times.

Anonymous said...

That is hysterical! Truth really is stranger than fiction...why write make believe when you have such rich fodder?

I hope he's not dead.


Mother Theresa said...

I wouldn't be surprised if nobody called, thinking that someone else already had. You only have to think back to Kitty Genovese, who was stabbed to death in the 60's. At least 38 people witnessed the murder, but not one phoned the police, thinking that someone else would do it. It's a classic case that comes up in basic psych classes to explain bystander apathy. People are more likely to help if they think no one else is around. The mind is a strange thing.

Logophile said...

Oh man, dontcha just have to wonder about some people?
Cultural differences don't account for ALL of that.

robkroese said...

Many cultures don't distinguish between the dead and the sleeping. Like the culture of crazy people, for instance.

G said...

I've been laughing at all of your comments and will readily concede that I must have been in a charitable mood when writing about Narnia.

I hate to not answer each individually but I have to get some shut-eye to be prepared for a meeting at Julian's school first thing in the am.

Thanks all for dropping by - I loved teh comments.