Thursday, June 14, 2007

The White Shirt...and Chest Pains

On my way home the other evening, I decided to take a little shopping detour. Scissors called me to say, "I'm not feeling that well".

"I'll come home then." I said only half irritated as I thought "some people will do anything to stop me from shopping."

"No just don't be long."

"Okay then - be home soon."

As I fumbled the cotton of the white shirts (because you can never have too many white shirts and I seem to not have any) in Banana Republic, my cell phone rings. "I'm having a chest pain." Scissors tells me.

"A chest pain!" fumble fabric, "I'm coming home now." May G-d forgive me that I had the presence of mind to make a couple of mental notes for future reference on my way out the door.

I rush home in the car and swing the household into Battle Station Butterfly Emergency Mode. First call Scissors' doctor's office who says that I need to take him to the hospital ER. We're all pretty level headed for an emergency except for Scissors who insists that I shouldn't call the doctor, he'll be fine. Tell him to get dressed. Tali instructs me to go into the other room when I call Grandma so as not to get Julian upset. Julian hears me mentioning the doctor and comes in to tell me "I hate to see Daddy in pain." Sweet child. I assure him Daddy's okay but we have to take him to make sure everything is alright. We drop the kids at Grandma's and head on the road but not before Grandma asks if I've eaten.

We get to the hospital and the emergency room is pretty full but not terrible. Finally Scissors gets called in and has blood drawn and an EKG done. The EKG is normal and we have to wait for the bloodwork. He's wheeled to the back and wait we do. His pain is not strong and is more of a dull ache at this point, yet he rates it a 6 when the nurse asks. I tell him that's why women have babies because he most certainly is overstating his pain index.

Besides the poor old people who have been given a break from their nursing home setting to have a little vacation in the hospital, you have your various and sundry ER characters. First up - the patient released from the hospital after surgery, in for more pain killers yelling "Nurse! Doctor! Nurse!! Nobody gives a F*&$!". Next we have the dapper drunk who we first thought was a doctor until he fell into Patient Number One's bed. Apparently he has missed a flight to LA having gotten tanked in the airport and instead will wake up in a Queens ER. He is being pumped with coffee and accusing everyone of taking something that he has most certainly lost (or been alleviated of) in his drunken stupor. We then have a man of I'd say Afghani decent perhaps who is becoming hysterical because his brother went out to get something to eat. When the brother returns he begs of the doctor to take good care of his brother. The doctor asks if they have insurance. That seemed a bit callous to me. The answer, in short, was no. The doctor said he'd be back. Um hmmm.

Scissors and I were taking this all in from his bed - him lying down, me sitting on the end - as if it were a new comedy series. We needed to pass the time somehow. Long story short, he was not having or did not have a heart attack, but still not sure what caused the pain.

I went out to call home and let Grandma and the kids know that Daddy's okay just being held for tests. I go back in and drop in the Bathroom. As I am in the stall the phone rings and Tali is calling asking if we're coming home soon. I walk out of stall to wash hands and tell her we'll be home soon when a man walks out of one of the other stalls. I laugh and say "Am I in the Men's Room?!" and he laughs and says "I'm not sure, I think I may be in the Women's Room. I said uh oh when I heard you on the phone." We both laughed, and washed our hands.

Back in the ER, we finally get all the tests back which are all good. We leave with no real knowledge of what caused the chest pains but with a few laughs and an ER bill. Scissors saw a cardiologist the next day and will be having a stress test next week. So we'll see what it is and go from there. Hopefully nothing and just as I told Julian "maybe Daddy ate too much and he has heartburn."

On the way home I said "you really didn't think I needed that white shirt, huh?"

"Very funny G, take me home."

And home we went.


Mother Theresa said...

What a scare! I'm glad it all turned out all right, but those kind of things make you realize just how important the people you love are. I hope all the tests come back okay, and that in the end it was only heartburn. In any case, it's a good thing you took it seriously, because you can never be too sure in these cases. The ER is one of those places where life seems a bit surreal, but at least you were entertained while you waited.

Mother Theresa said...

Oh, I forgot to say that Julian is a real sweetheart!

And, were you in the men's room? I just have to know.

Nessa said...

I'm very glad Scissors is ok. Gall stones can make you feel like you are having a heart attack.

When I took my daughter to the ER one night last fall, I was amazed at the number of homeless people who make the ER home. So many mentally ill people with no where to go.

Sweet and Salty said...

I'm glad the hubby turned out okay, G. That, and you got a bit of entertainment to boot!

Your kids are so sweet, caring about their dad like that. I once told my kids to keep it down because I had a bad headache and they kissed my head so much, I think it made it worse! But I couldn't feel happier...

As for a white shirt, you poor thing! You can always go online.

hee hee...

Claire said...

Gee whiz, what some husbands will do to keep their wives from shopping! "Tali instructs me to go into the other room when I talk to Grandma so as not to get Julian upset." -What an amazing child you have there! She is quite an empath in addition to being wise beyond her years. I hope all turns out well (and benign)for dear Scissors.

Anonymous said...

whew. what an experience. and a terrifying one, at that.

you guys have been on my mind since we spoke a couple of days ago, dearest NBFF -- here's hoping all is well in the house of Scissors, and that further trips to the ER will N.E.V.E.R. be necessary, for any of you!!

oy, and i'd have been here sooner, but we've been havin' computer connection problems all day long. AND my stupid cell phone is on the fritz. hmmm, maybe i'm the one who needs to go to the ER...make that ERR, as in Electronic Remedial Room. d'oh!! xoxox

tsduff said...

I thank GOD that it turned out like it did. I have developed a fear of hospitals - having spent many such times including the one at the end in them. Hear my audible sigh of relief from one coast to the other? ahhhhh. You did exactly everything right to go in immediately. Disaster averted.

FirstNations said...

oh crap, I hope he's ok.

did you see:
The pissy wino in the wheelchair alseep in the entry with a cigarette burning

The screaming teenage girl ripped on drugs and fighting the staff

the freaky obese guy who smells like cheese sitting on the floor who never moves or blinks

Just wondering. they're always there rooting for me when I go in!

Kyahgirl said...

oh G, I bet your stomach just got tied in knots over that one. I'm glad scissors is ok for not but good you're following up!

ER is a fascinating place for a people watcher like myself. But, I'm usually too upset when I'm in the ER to actually enjoy the show.

I found the washroom incident hilarious. You're a cool customer. I'd be freaking out.

Gale said...

Scary! Hope everything turns out okay!!

Ariel the Thief said...

so are real ER is just like the one in the series? I'm going to take it more seriously then!

I am wondering what's your husband's problem with white shirts really is... and keep my fingers crossed for him!

ckmunson said...

I am so sorry you had such a scare. I shutter when I think of that. I'm thinking of you!!!

Anonymous said...

So glad things turned out okay!

Anonymous said...

Great real life but hysterical but not story.

Tali and Julian are both great. Glad grandma had her priorities straight

How did I miss this? Could have sworn I have been to your blog

Your stories continue to amaze me

Shari said...

Well, better safe than sorry.

You can always go back to the store another time.

Next time the kids get bored and need entertainment, head for the nearest ER. lol. (Last time I was in the ER, my daughter thought she broke her thumb during a collison with another go-cart. The nurse closed the curtains in the "ER room" so I didn't get the kind of entertainment you did.)

jen j-m said...

i just wanted to tell you that it was so nice to meet you and your daughter this weekend!
warmly, jen

G said...

Theresa: It was indeed. Thankfully everything is turning out fine, but we still don't know the cause. Yes the entertainment was the silver lining of sorts. Thanks for your good wishes.

T2: Thank you - Julian is indeed our little sweetheart. And of course I was in my rightful place. My suspicious should have been aroused by the person peeing with the stall door open - Men!

Goldennib: Thank you. I've heard that about gallstones. And it is indeed a sad fact about people with mental health issues and nowhere to go in our country.

Pavel, all around win/win. It is amazing in those moments where parents are indeed not feeling well, how sweet children can be. Oh I'm getting my white shirt(s) allright (after the stress test ;).

Claire - ya know! Not like I get the chance often I hasten to add...but seriously as long as everything's okay, I'm good. Tali is quite the empath and rather level headed - good to have around in an emergency as it turns out. Thanks very much.

Neva, thanks - now you're on my mind! All is well and we'll speak tomorrow-ish? XOX

G said...

Terry, thanks so much. Your fear/aversion of hospitals is quite understandable. Scissors is doing okay and we'll hope to get to the root of what caused the pains to being with. I'll be by soon by the way - I need to hear about your amazing trip!

fn: This is New York City - we're all about the gunshot wounds. I kid. Yeah thanks, Scissors is doing just fine - we're trying to keep him stress free so he has this little jacket thingey on...

Kyah, thanks. Yes, I am making sure he follows through on all issues for this. Since we were there for a while and Scissors actually began to feel "better", we amused ourselves.

On the "Washroom Incident" - it really was quite funny. The guy was sort of cute and embarrassed so it masked my own surprise. The funny part was Tali was still on the phone and was asking "Is that Daddy?"

Gale, it was one of those surreal moments in life for sure. Thanks very much and drop back when the drama dies down :)

Ariel, I was actually thinking that it certainly lacked the real drama of the series (and the good looking doctors).

Yes, we'll be getting to the root of Scissors' problem with white shirts in therapy.

cj: Thanks. A day at a time. You certainly know on a larger scale what we went through.

Joel, thanks.

Pia, always humor to be had in every situation I find...usually.

Thanks - tali and Julian were indeed real troopers throughout the whole ordeal. You might have thought you were here but hopefully you were watching waves and got distracted ;).

G said...

Shari - so true. Yes and I did make those mental notes...

ER's certainly provide a certain entertainment quotient. Thanks for dropping by.

G said...

Jen, thank you so much - it really was a pleasure for us as well. It's so nice meeting the artist behind the work. I couldn't be happier with the pieces that I picked up. I can't wait until I finally get my pending art pieces hung, but for now I have them out on a shelf and am enjoying them from that vantage point.

Renegade was indeed a feast for the eyes. Thanks for dropping by and it was wonderful meeting you and your pals.

Doug The Una said...

I'm glad everything seems fine. It seems to me the doctors wear white shirts, don't they?

Another Shade of Grey said...

Hospitals and Waffle Houses...great places to observe people. :)

Glad to know your scissors can still cut. :)

G said...

Doug, I will have to pursue the white shirt theory with his MD. He may deny it - it's all a conspiracy anyway.

Another Shade, Yes indeed -hospitals and waffle houses. Thanks for dropping by. Although I don't really comment, I love your place, so honored I am by your visit.

robkroese said...

Maybe his heart was overflowing with love for his family.

Or it could be something he ate.

Anonymous said...

Never a dull moment! That is scary. I hope it was just a muscle spasm or something.
Hugs to you and all of yours.

Logophile said...

Chest pains are so scary. Mr. Logo had chest pains as a stress reaction at work a couple years ago. To the extent that the men at work with him made him go to the doctor (you know its bad when military guys think you need a doctor!).
If the ladies' necessary is overcrowded I sometimes will sneak into the men's, if it's empty :p
Glad Scissors is indeed ok.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad it doesn't seem to have been anything.
I used to have to take my dad in often for heart attacks (every time he tried to smoke after he turned 83), and several times there were moonshine cases. I defy NYC to produce more colorful drunks.

G said...

Diesel, or something he ate... :)

Actonbell, we're sort of like that girl with the curl..."when we're good, we're very very good... ;)" But thank you. And don't you know they went on sale and didn't have my size! Grrrr. Wasn't a total loss, I picked up something else.

Chikken, yeah, we're still getting to the bottom of it, but so far so good. Thanks.

Logo, they are. They're such a moment of "is life really going to change like that for us - on a dime?" But we'll see what the deal is - maybe stress as well.

You go girl, I can never quite bring myself to go into the Men's, maybe if I go with you.

Weirsdo, yeah, so far so good. Your Dad just wanted to enjoy himself at that age huh? I bet you're right about the drunks.