Thursday, June 28, 2007

If I said you had a beautiful blog...

...would you hold it against me?

That's just me being plain silly (the damn P key is stuck on my laptop now so it takes about three strikes to get it). I haven't been _osting much lately and it's not so much that I have nothing to say (one might argue blogging is one big "nothing to say" fest) but lack the time in which to say it. Perhaps motivation has been fairly used up by the evening when the opportunity might just present itself. That's of course, discounting the days when I fall asleep mid-story on one child or another's bed.

Today was the first day of camp. I drove Tali and Julian and Scissors met us there as I continued on to work from there. This morning as we were all in various stages of dress and readiness, Julian was walking around in his underwear and swim goggles. He seemed rather pleased with himself but then came to me and said "the kids are going to make fun of me."

I said "Of course they're not, you're friendly, I'm sure you'll make lots of new friends." I gave him a big hug and he quickly forgot that train of thought. Fast forward to Julian's introduction to the new small group and the little boy who shall hereinafter be referred to as "Pipsqueak" saying "Julian, that's a girl's name!" Julian first bellied up to the offender and said "It is not!" and turned to me and said "see, I told you they were going to make fun of me." This funk lasted for all of two minutes before they were gathering to leave and Scissors met him at his first activity in which he was having a wonderful time.

Of course, it stayed with me the whole day. How would Julian do? Would he be able to manage the changes throughout the day? Would he eat his lunch? Would he go to the bathroom under a new schedule? Would someone be watching him at the pool? Would the thunderstorms hit and he be scared? Would he cry as easily as I might if I gave into it? The answer to all of above were just as you'd expect.

He did fine and I held back the tears...until now.


Claire said...

Aw, that's a baby step towards growing up for Julian. I say, "good job to you mom for letting him go!" Be proud of yourself for this means you are a Good Mother! (It is sometimes very hard to do this and we moms suffer fo it.)

Anonymous said...

Oh G sometimes I wish I had brilliant wise things to say but I don't.

Dont think the thunderstorms have hit even yet, and if they did at camp, know they would have a plan

Which isn't answering your question or saying anything wise

It was a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing that

Julian sounds as if he's becoming resilient.

You know all you can do is light the way and make the path a bit brighter, and you are :)

Sweet and Salty said...

Great story you shared, G! Just wonderful. I worry about my kids constantly, wondering if they okay...

It's hard to let go, but I think it's okay to cry too. You want to protect them and be there with them to share all their experiences.

They know you care and I'm sure Julian was at the camp feeling better knowing that his mom loves him, and I bet that made it easier for him to have a good time.

You're a super blogger mommy person, G!

Nessa said...

My daughter will be 21 in September and I still cry when she tries something new (Don't tell her though. She'll think I'm a dork.) Our children are so much stronger than we are.

Logophile said...

Oh man, I had camp for my older one this week and I am so feeling you on this one.
The camp had a midweek parent lunch and I went on the bike because Thing One knows he can't ride with me if he doesn't have gear so I was forestalling any "I wanna go home" talk, if it was coming. He seemed quiet, but like he was enjoy himself.
Sigh, this mom stuff is HARD, ok!

G said...

Claire, you're so right of course and thanks for the reinforcement pat on the back. You always weigh in with such great perspective.

Pia, that was wise and brilliant as it made me feel better so thank you. You're right, Julian is becoming resiliant and he is experiencing life in all its beauty and pain. Who am I to stand in the way? :)

Pavel, it seems that all I do is worry but I guess I really don't. Although some weeks are more fraught with it than others, I have to let the little duck swim (which he happens to love so there's that :). Thanks for your always kind/sweet words - you're a super blogger daddy person yourself.

Goldennib, just as I suspected - we never quite stop that stab at the heart feeling. Your secret's safe with me. It's true - by last night Julian had nothing but good stories to recount.

Logo, very smart - go with a pre-emptive plan in place. I bet Thing One is having a great experience. But BIG SIGH - this mom stuff is hard, even though I know we'll all get through it okay. Strength sister.

Anonymous said...

YOUR children are stronger than you think they are -- of that i'm very sure.

mine? not so much.

still... i'm happy to know the first day at summer camp went well. fugeddabout that pipsqueak. where was his mom during that interaction, huh?? home plucking curlers out of her grimy hair, would be my guess.

stay strong, NBFF, to do so now will make your job as a parent ever so much easier, down the road. or so i'm told. ; ) xox

tsduff said...

Awe - heartfelt post G! I can relate - only for me it is all about the grandson who is 5. Your little guy will be fine - and so will you :-D All is as it should be...

Miz BoheMia said...

Oh and I am right there with you my friend! Those "firsts" are brutal for the moms and the kids seem to do so much better than we expect them to!

When Lil' B went away to any school thing for the first time ever she was 3 and attended summer school. To see that little lady walking off and having to walk away from her and wave bye and actually leave was the hardest thing ever... and I ended up home feeling guilty as hell and bawling away but luckily, found myself picking up a bubbly little excited thing... but it continues still... first time on stage looking so little and brave, first actual recognizable drawing, first time anyone babysat her (that one was actually when I was in labor with Lil' Mischief... Loverboy fell asleep in a bed next to me while I just waited for my water to break and cried in the meanwhile because I missed my little girl, who was home asleep and unaware that I was gone, and felt guilty about being away!!! THAT'S how bad I am!)...

... and so many firsts too with Lil' M so imagine all the damn tears in this house! Ha, ha,haaa! ;-P

The hardest part? Not allowing the bawling to happen before I get home! Oy!

Beautiful and sweet and oh so touching post my dearest amiga and I am so glad to hear all went well for brave Julian! Children are so amazing that way aren't they?

Neshikot to you my dear G and give those sweet little souls of yours a big abrazo on my behalf!

Ariel the Thief said...

he is supposed to do fine, and you are supposed to cry, Mommy. :)

Anonymous said...

Great _ost, G, about life's central mystery: that, somehow, little by little, each new generation figures out how to face and co_e with its own challenges.

Of course, a caring and involved Mom always hel_s. Nice work.

robkroese said...

It can be rough being a kid, but they're surprisingly resilient. As I say to my wife about our son (trying to believe it myself), "I'm sure he'll be just fine."

G said...

Neva, you are so right. Julian and Pipsquek are already on to being friends. Actually I know this camp experience will provide an important experience for him...and me as it turns out :) Thanks NBFF, I guess I have no other option but to stay strong. XOX

Terry, thanks - you know of what I speak. Yes, all as it should be - no getting around this thing called living :)

MizB, now you have me sitting here teary eyed at your eloquent and evocative description of firsts. It's true - the hardest part is holding it together until I get home. This mothering thing is not so easy at times for the sensitive souls among us, but luckily for us, our kids are doing just fine.

Big neshikot to you and your two amazing little souls from our home to yours. XOX

Ariel, at least I'm doing something right then ;)

Al, thanks for your kind words and your sym_athetic use of the _. Tell me it gets easier to get through all this childhood stuff. That's okay, I know the answer :)

Diesel, they will be okay, it's just not always so easy to lay our fears aside, is it?

Thanks Actonbell, we're all settling in to the new rhythm. And a reasurring hug does go a long way.

Rabbit, rabbit! Summer is here and it's a wonderful time.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad. Socialization is a frequent worry with Toyplayer, because he is very shy in groups and would have been talking about a comment like that for a year.

G said...

Weirsdo, he's still resilient for the time being. Let's hope he maintains a certain amount of that. As to Toyplayer, being social is overrated - he's got a lot going for himself!

Anonymous said...

Thanks, G. Unfortunately the big thing he got going this morning was a large block fortress on one half of the glass-covered coffee table in the den--or should I say formerly glass-covered and now missing one panel?

G said...

Yeeesh, poor Toyplayer - go easy on the boy. Sorry to hear that for all concerned, but glass is replacable as long as nobody got hurt. Listen to me - the voice of reason with someone else's table ;)