Thursday, March 06, 2008

The Bargain of the Century!

For me, anyway!

Where last we left off in this tale of intrigue, I was girding our strength to prepare for pickup of our auction winnings.

Due to some email snafus in which I did not hear from the seller at close of auction or into the next morning, I sent one last terse email basically saying, "I want my chair (even if you are a sex offender)!"

I then requested a communication through eBay which essentially provides the buyer/seller with each other's phone numbers. That got Robert hot under the collar and he called and caught Scissors coming through the door. Ring ring.:

Scissors: "Hello."
Robert, the seller: "May I speak to Ms. G!? This is Robert Soandso and I just sold her a Room & Board chair through eBay."
Scissors: "Well she's not here right now.."
Robert: "Well she sent me an email that I did not like the tone of...
Scissors: "Excuse me, my wife would not send a nasty email unless of course there was a reason...
Robert: (Insert Charlie Brown teacher voice here): "blah blah blah"
Scissors "I'll have her call you."

Scissors calls me at work, "There's some guy calling mentioning eBay, a chair..."

Poor Scissors always the last to know. In all the excitement I wanted to wait until I had a confirmation to tell him of the great deal! I tell him that I'll call Robert who in the meantime has had time to cool his jets. We get on fabulously or at least he still is letting me come pick up the chair which is all that I care about. With address secured, the next leg of our adventure begins...

Heading to points west (West Harlem) to be exact to claim my winnings from an eBay auction. I'm sitting on my chair right now typing. It is the Grace Chair from Room & Board pictured above, only in a sort of charcoal grey color. Love, love, love it! The price is $899.00 (+$65 shipping). My winning bid was $103.50 and we picked it up! Well there's the $9.00 round trip toll over the Triborough Bridge, so that's the delivery charge I guess. The owner described it as "like new" which is more than accurate. It shows no signs of any sort of wear and actually he said that it didn't get much use. I recognized the other chair keeping Grace company in his living room from eBay as well. I asked how he did with that auction and he smiled and said, "great, I got 10 for it."

I guess my expression showed I needed to be clubbed over the head with the details so he helpfully added "thousand." Somehow he made up for the loss on the Grace chair with the sale of the Finn Juhl. $10,000 smackers! He told me to have a seat and I cozied right in. It was divine, but for $10K I'd have to be able to drive it to work.

Of course getting our win down the three narrow flights of stairs was a little adventure with me offering little in the way of actual help but plenty in the way of guidance. And Robert, nice as he was, feigned some sort of wrist injury. All that brawn wasted. We tied her into the trunk like the Beverly Hillbillies that we are and waved goodbye!

For the record, I noticed nothing untoward about Robert, and then I realized what must have triggered the sex offender link!! Bill Clinton's offices are two blocks away!


Anonymous said...

I am much relieved that you are back and telling the tale...and what a wonderful telling. Love the know my love for chairs.
Your last line is one of the funniest I have ever heard. *chuckle*

Doug The Una said...

Hahahaha about the CLinton office. That couch looks like a fine Louis throne.

tsduff said...

She's a beaut! Your Ebay story had a fabulous ending - there is nothing like a great bargain like that. The Beverly Hillbillies would be proud of their east coast counterparts in NY. Now you just a need a lamp to match.

Hobbes said...

If you have any trouble with those mooks on E-Bay, maybe Mr. Banana could help.

Ariel the Thief said...


Tom & Icy said...

Delightful story simply told. Hilarious ending, yes! And we are glad you keep the format for Simply Said so Simply Simple. Simply Marvelous. Icy gives you five bones out of five.

Jeff and Charli Lee said...

Nice chair! Very cosmopolitan.

G said...

Mo'a, it was touch and go there. Haha, yes I do - you have quite a lovely collection. I'm blushing under my shade :)

Doug, right on 125th Street, I kid you not. Not enough that he has every other place?! Okay, on my lap though.

Terry, isn't she?! Right - a good lamp is key :)

Hobbes, I don't want to push but I think Mr. Banana may be one of the mooks on eBay. I was afraid that I was buying the chair from him and he was running some sort of scam.

Ariel, have a seat - try her out and thank you.

Tom & Icy, simple just seemed, well less complicated. The coveted five bones out of five!!! I'm simply speechless!

Thanks Jeff. Yeah, it makes me want to smoke my cigarette in a holder and I don't even smoke!

G said...

Doug, I felt the need to clarify that I'm speaking about Louie in my comment above and not Bill Clinton ;)